Thursday, August 09, 2007

Taking the Hypocritic Oath

*This is another of the blogs I posted on Myspace around the time of my birthday when I was just raging against everything and getting shit off my chest. Enjoy

I'm going to tell it like it is when I tell you each and every one of us is a hypocrite. There is no getting around it. In fact, most people are hypocritical in some way, sort or fashion nearly every day. You shake your head at the ill behaved children at the table next to yours while out eating and then let your own kids run wild. You support your political party until as such a time as they support something that goes against you. You get angry when no kindly person will let you pull out in to traffic and yet when the opportunity arises for you to do the same you pretend you don't see them. Stop and think for a minute. You know it's true.

In reality life is hypocrisy. Nearly everything that happens in the course of the day we are hypocritical of or someone is hypocritical (or maybe just plain critical) of us. We go to church then lie, steal and do lord knows what else. We wear sealskin boots to a save the whales rally. We recycle everything paper or plastic in our homes and drive S.U.V.'s that get 1 mile to the gallon. There is simply no way to avoid it. We tsk tsk about our friends not visiting sick parents enough until we are in the same situation. We talk behind the back about the youngster showing up at work a wreck from drinking the night before and seem to forget all the times in the past (maybe even the present) we showed up in similar or worse condition. We are walking talking fleshy bags of hypocrisy.

I think where most of us are hypocrites is when it comes to relationships. Be it friends, family, or significant others we all say one thing then do just the opposite so often. How often does "til death do us part" actually hold up? We say, "I love you" and weeks later we aren't speaking. We say, "We'll always be friends" and haven't communicated in months. We'll never let a relationship stand in the way of your friends then we can't talk anymore because he/she doesn't like it and we can't find time for our best friends. We love being single and hate being tied down and checking in with someone at every turn then we can't make a move asking him/her. We are hypercritical (notice the spelling) about someone cheating on someone then turn around and do the same if it benefits us. You're even hypocritical about being hypocritical. We all know (or have been) the person who "hates people who drop their friends when they get in a relationship. I'd never do that" then, of course at the first opportunity does. Sorry people, in some way we're all guilty as charged.

The bottom line is life makes hypocrites of us all. Things change. Shit happens. Life changes and evolves so what was true yesterday may not hold up until tomorrow. There's no way around it. Being hypocritical is different then lying (a blog for another day) in that at the time you state something you likely think it's true. I'm not singling out any person or persons nor pointing fingers because if I were I'd be pointing in the mirror. You were happy being single until mr./miss right came along. You meant, "til death do us part" until you're spouse did something simply inconsolable. You meant, "I love you" until you realized you didn't mean it. You never thought you'd let a relationship get in the way of your friend but you did. You honestly thought having kids wouldn't change what you did and whom you did it with (this also probably falls into the ignorance category). You meant to be friends forever but both people's lives got too busy. A new job, a death in the family, a car accident, moving, marriage, divorce, kids, etc. Every one of these things can affect what was once true that no longer is. Very few people can truly live up to their word forever and honestly, can they be expected to?

I've tried hard to not be too hypocritical myself by trying to choose my words and actions wisely but like I said, shit happens. I have let friend's drift away on the one hand and on the other I told a girl to hit the bricks when I was to decide between her and my best friend. Sorry toots, no contest there. I am happy being single and will holler it to the heavens but I met someone who almost changed my mind. Almost. I've only said "I love you" to anyone once and meant it. Still do. I've said I'd take a bullet for a true friend and meant it. So, I'm going out on a limb. Mark this date and these words. I will most likely be single forever and am happy about that. I will never lose my friends over a woman. I will always have time for my friends no matter how seriously I get involved with anyone. I will never cheat on someone I'm in a relationship with. I will always be there for my true friends and family no matter how far we seem to have drifted and no matter what they need me for. I actually think I can do this (most likely as the first statement kind of negates the most of the rest) and if I can't, gentle readers, I want you to rain down upon me with great vengeance and furious anger

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I just need My Space!

Like most of you, I’m guessing, I’ve had a love/hate affair with Myspace. I’m kind of in the hate mode right now. For me I joined Myspace to keep in touch with a friend who lived a ways away (who I no longer associate with). Eventually, mostly through a shared love of the Patriots, I made some legitimate new, great friends. Most I have been lucky enough to spend time in “real life” with. However, between work and a lack of interest when I get home I simply haven’t been on much. Part of it is the petty and immature aspects of something I once loved. There is just something about Myspace that makes people not think about other people’s feelings in what post on peoples’ profiles or leave posted on their own. I know of at least 2 relationships ruined by Myspace (and one started just to show I’m not all negative) because of things left on profiles.

I will say that Myspace can be like many other aspects of the internet (instant message, chat rooms, message boards, gaming sites) in that people grow attached to one another and maybe sometimes think there is more to it then there really is. Misunderstanding, jealousy, and hurt feelings are all very common. There can be, so I’m told, nothing quite as bracing as to view someone’s profile that you think maybe there is sort of kind of something between you and you one day read “in a relationship”. Talk about a buzz kill. Anyway, after that entire preamble I present “things I don’t necessarily love about Myspace”:

1) The politics of top friends- You know that person hanging around in your top 8 that’s been there forever even tho’ you rarely speak? Or the person who you talk to all the time (talk=message etc) that you have trouble putting in your top 4/8/12 as you’d feel bad about bumping someone else. What about real life friends who are rarely on Myspace versus your best non-real life Myspace friend? It’s like the politics of wedding list cut downs and is not an easy chore

2) False “online now” indicators- you know, so and so is on-line now. So you send a message and wait and wait, keep reloading but nothing. You’re hurt, you’re despondent, you’re most likely pathetic and in many cases you’re wrong. That thing is about as accurate as a New England meteorologist.

3) Over Bulletining- You got that add as friend request, seemed on the up and up and it turns out they simply bulletin you to death. Promoting their website, forwarding every survey and joke, asking you to attend something. Hell, if I wanted spam I’d check my e-mail

4) More info then I maybe wanted to know bulletins- someone you think you know pretty well fills out one of those foolish surveys and you read it and are like, dang, I didn’t know that nor, in many cases, did I want to. This can be particularly dangerous if the person is/was close or an ex or worse, current. Some thing are simply better left unsaid. Then again, maybe they are dropping a hint…

5) Public displays of private thoughts in comments- I’m no longer a big commenter as the more and more I check out people’s comments on their pages I notice there is just too much stuff for the world to read that should probably be private. The potential damage can be amazing. Myspace is a strange sub-division of real life and sometimes people look at their Myspace peeps in ways that maybe even they don’t know. Sometimes there’s nothing so surprising when you go to someone’s page and read “had fun last night” from someone when they told YOU they stayed home or someone visits your page and reads, “I love you” from someone who wasn’t the person it was supposed to be…even if it was in a platonic, friendly way. I think you get the drift.

There are a lot more but you get the gist. Tell me, what do you hate about Myspace?