Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Now I don't wanna go off on a rant...

  • At what point in a mans life does he stop wearing his pants on, above, or below his hips and start wearing them around his armpits?
  • People will flock to anything free or perceived as free. If you hang a sign that says "free ass kickings" people will queue up at 6:00 a.m. to be first in line
  • By and large if someone calls you from a bar drunk and tells you to meet them there its typically going to be a long ass night
  • I actually had my shirt off in public this weekend (public meaning surrounded by family and friend) and realize I truly am the whitest white man on Gods green Earth
  • Why is the price of self serve and full sever gas basically the same now and why do we still go self serve rather then let someone else pump it
  • Am I the only person who has a car in decent shape, low mileage that cannot even go in for an oil change without the bill climbing into the multi-hundred-dollar range?
  • The only thing worse then the actual heat is people complaining about the heat and all the stupid clich├ęs. "Its not the heat, its the humidity", "you'll appreciate this weather in February", etc. And worse, the people who think they are the only one that is hot "god, I am so hot". Like, Im not!!! I have a personal air conditioner that I vent up my ass that keeps me cool while youre sweating you ass off!!!!
  • Bagging is a lost art form. I leave Target with 16 bags for 12 items. I literally thought my condo was gonna be over-run with errant Target bags. When I go to the supermarket its not "paper or plastic" its please, just use the fewest friggin bags. I was thinking of knitting myself a sweater from all my Target bags but decided white isnt my color
  • Dog people scare me. I actually saw a guy in a department store with his dog leashed to a shopping cart and being pushed around the store. I mean, theres clearly a sign that says no pets in the store but apparently those rules just dont count. A girl I work with brings a dog with her to work. Um, ok, why? Can we all bring our pets? Worse, her dog was abused as a puppy and tends to snap at kids. Yup, dogs biting customers is a good way to run a business
  • On the same note, for those of us in non-smoking States doesn't it seem so weird now thinking back to people smoking in public places? Shopping with butts hanging out of their mouths? Smoking at ballgames? Smoking on PLANES?!?! I remember my boss's wife smoking in the store and when she quit putting a no smoking sign up. Now, I cant even fathom someone smoking indoors anywhere anymore.

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