Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Knick Knack Paddy's Wacked

Ah, March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day. The day in which we celebrate everything Irish and everyone is Irish for a day. Me? I’m not buying it. Being Irish for a day is like being Christian only on Easter and Christmas or in love only on Valentines Day. My ancestry is Irish on both sides and I’ve made it a point to study my ancestry, been to Ireland 3 times and hell, my personality alone exudes the atypical Irish stereotype. I’m Irish 24/7/365 and don’t need a special holiday to celebrate this

Let’s face some certain facts:

1) St Patrick’s Day is more of an Irish American holiday then an Irish holiday although it has become bigger in Ireland and made traveling to Ireland for this date more a destination trip then ever before

2) The traits of being Irish that are celebrated on St Paddy’s Day are most of the negative stereotypes propagated by the media and popular fiction and not history. It celebrates the Irish as a bunch of drunks (true in many cases but not in all), that Ireland must be chock full of leprechauns, and that the Irish exclusively wear green from head to toe. It doesn’t celebrate the fact the Irish are hard working, industrious folk that were critical in the growth of THIS country

3) It is the one holiday that straddles the line between Hallmark holiday (the sheer amount of crap you can buy to celebrate) and Amateur Night (New Year’s Eve and night before Thanksgiving being the other 2) in that it becomes more and more popular because the stores shove it down our throats and at the same time all these poseurs and wannabes are out drinking and generally getting in the way of us real drinkers

4) People want to hear “Irish” music, which of course they mean traditional or Irish folk music. As far as they are concerned Irish bands ceased progressing with the Clancy Brothers and the Irish Rovers. I suppose that all Irish high school kids walk around playing the Unicorn Song on their Ipods and that most of us never heard of U2, the Corrs or the Pogues?

Finally, some dos and don’ts:

Don’t order corned beef and cabbage if you want authentic Irish, as corned beef is not a meal indigenous to Ireland

Do order bangers and mash if you want authentic

Don’t order green beer. ‘nuff said

Do order Guinness a real product of Ireland

Don’t order a black and tan as it has a very derogatory meaning to the Irish (and hell, don’t spoil Guinness with anything else)

Do have a shot of Jameson’s, just about the tastiest stuff on earth

Don’t speak with a phony Irish brogue

Do have fun without making a total moron of yourself and, if you are indeed Irish, your heritage

Do visit one of your areas many Irish pubs

Don’t forget they are typically open 360 plus other days a year and not just St. Paddy’s Day

Have fun, drink, laugh, and raise a toast to those whom gone before you. Rejoice in being Irish if only for a day but don’t make a mockery of a proud, hard working people who helped build THIS great country as well as their own


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