Memory Motel

Why is it that the older I get the more I forget important, pertinent things but can remember obscure, useless things from 20, 30 years ago like as if they happened yesterday? Why can I remember the 1st 8-Track I bought (Kiss-Destroyer) but not my mom's birthday? That I can remember playing the board game Uncle Wiggily with my friend Bill back in grade school but not my checking account number which I've had for 15 years? Maybe the hard drive in my brain is just full and rather then writing over all the old, stupid stuff in there the new stuff just doesn't have room. Here some examples of stuff I can't get rid of but no longer need:

1) From Mrs. Clancy's 7th grade English the first column of prepositions we had to memorize; aboard, about, above, across, after, against, along, among, at, before

2) That The Cat Came Back even tho they thought he was a goner (ZOOM reference)

3) My friend Ted's phone number. I won't print it here but I haven't dialed it since 1984

4) That when my friend got his first car the previous owner left behind the 8-Tracks (and yes, they were wayyyy dated by then) Bad Company, Bad Company, Bad Company, Straight Shooter, Boston, Boston, and Janis Joplin, Greatest Hits

5) The fact there was never a logical conclusion to Danger Island on the Banana Splitz (uh oh, Chongo)

6) The words to pretty much every song in the movie Blazing Saddles

7) Buying the 3 books of Ursuala LeGuin's Earthsea Trilogy at the Ottoson Book Fair

8) Winning a creative writing contest and getting a gift certificate to Lauriats and with the money I bought a pen and writing pad

9) That the popular Count Chockula and Frankenberry character cereals had a less popular team member named Booberry and a totally obscure member known as Froot Brute. Seriously

10) That Long John Silvers had a game card/maze puzzle promotion where the grand prize was an Instamatic camera

11) That McFebruary was a very special month at McDonald's

12) That my 8th grade permanent substitute teacher has a best friend he called Sketts which was short for Spaghetti Head

13) My parents buying (here it is again) the 8-Track Roberta Flack Killing Me Softly

14) That the first "micro" computer I ever touched was a Tandy TRS80 which used audio cassettes for storage

15) That the Jickets will beat the Squeegees on Saturday afternoon...even if grandma dies (go ahead, see if you get THAT reference)

16) That my parents once hosted a weight loss club called the Roly Polys and that the person who lost the least weight each week had to wear a sign that said "Iggy Wiggy I'm a Piggy" and they consumed mass quantities of Tab before anyone discovered it caused cancer in laboratory rats

17) That if I wanted to send it to ZOOM I need to send a SASE to Z-double O-M Box 3-5-0 Boston, MA 0-2-1-3-4!

18) That everything counts when you're building a house of cards

19) I can still say "Moses supposes his toeses are roses but Moses supposes erroneously" which was the toughest tongue twister in the adult board game Passout

20) The time my 1st grade teacher asked the class to find out who thier parents voted for in the Nixon/McGovern election and being upset when I was the only kid who's parents voted for Nixon (who won by the way)

21) My sister bringing me into her class when I was in Kindergarten telling the teacher I could Irish Step Dance (which I couldn't)

22) That Mr Rourke was far edgier and less friendly in the original TV movies Fantasy Island and Fantasy Island II

23) That the character Enos Strate from the Dukes of Hazzard was played by actor Sonny Shroyer

24) That the coolest action figure of all time was The Whip who was part of Big Jim's Action P.A.C.K

25) That the coolest Creature Double Feature EVER was the Giant Majin where a giant statue in feudal Japan came to life to stomp the crap out of the bad guys menacing the peaceful villagers

OK, I need to stop. Seriously, I need to stop! This is starting to scare me. Not 1 of the 25 thoughts I just relayed will do me any good EVER yet are emblazoned in my mind. Now ask me what I remember from 4 years of college...