Wishful Thinking

Holiday time is a season of wishes both given and received. In the spirit of wishing here’s a list of wishes both offered and requested:

1) For the cyclists riding up and down Mass. Ave- a copy of the rules of the road. You want me to “share the road”? Fine, follow the same rules as those of us in cars. I’d also love to share a ride with them in their cars and see if they are nearly as tolerant of cyclists and pedestrians as they want me to be to them

2) For the jack-wagons outside my home cranking tunes at 3:00 AM- Their address in the suburbs so I can return the favor. Just because you’re on a busy, city street doesn’t mean people don’t live there

3) To the management/employees at movie theaters- a sense of pride in what you do. It’s bad enough I have pay over $20 for a ticket, popcorn, and a drink but for the love of god can you please take care of the only important thing you have to do, namely getting the sound and picture of the MOVIE correct. Next time I have to get up and say “hey, there is no sound” I’m going to scream

4) To fellow shoppers at the supermarket/department store/mall- 30 minutes of no cell phone use. That way we can all get done what we need to get done and get on with the rest of our day

5) To the brewers of the fine ale Smithwicks (my 2nd favorite beer)- An adhesive that actually secures the labels to your bottles. I’m tired of having to disappoint my nephew explaining why the bottle return won’t work without the UPC code on the label that is likely somewhere on the bottom of my fridge

6) To all the people making mention of how cold it is- A reality check! It’s technically not even winter yet and it’s pretty much going to be cold from here on in

7) For pedestrians in Davis Square- An explanation of “Don’t Walk”. Sure, I jaywalk all the time. However IF you are going to walk when it says don’t walk and I’m trying to take a right at least have the decency to pay attention to what the hell you're doing

8) To big retail- A ban on Christmas decorations and/or Christmas music until at least November 15th

9) To the P.C. police- Merry Christmas, Christmas tree, Christmas party, Christmas presents. It’s only words people and it’s the meaning that needs to be embraced!

10) To my dad- Another year. And another after that...and after that.

If number 10 is the only wish that comes true, I’ll be as happy as a pig in slop! Merry Christmas (and Happy Hanukkah) Friends