Thursday, August 22, 2013

(Not So) Easy Peasy

"If anyone told you life was going to be easy they lied"

Rich O'Rourke, date unknown

The quote above is attributed to me as I don't recall hearing anywhere specifically (tho variations surely exist) and I've adopted as my own. I say it a lot when I hear people who are down on their lives (the FML crowd). I've always been a realist and with a few exceptions never one to fall into "woe is me mode". There was a short period in my life when I actually had people seek out my counseling or advice for what they interpreted as their crappy life. I'd always open with "do you want the truth or do you want me to make you feel good" and upon the truth selection I'd say "If anyone told you life was going to be easy they lied". Tough love for sure. The plain truth is life is incredibly hard.Just living life and all it's pitfalls and the like is the hardest thing we do. But you know what? If it was easy anyone could do it

Life starts difficult and gets more so as we move along in life. Let's face it the process of being born is likely an unpleasant experience, just one we (thankfully) don't remember. Learning to crawl, walk and speak are hard. Being a kid is no simple task. High, can anything be more difficult then navigating your teen years as a high school student? College is a lot of work and stress. Your job can be all consuming. Relationships are really hard. Maintaining a relationship is even harder. Being a parent is maybe the hardest job anyone will ever have. Being a GOOD parent even harder. Getting old...well, that just plain sucks. My point? Life, from the day we're born to the day we drop, is not easy

So why is it so difficult? Because being a person, a human being, if a very complicated deal. The older we get the more we're responsible for and the more we're expected to know about how to handle these things. The problem is there is no real instruction manual for life! We fumble and stumble through most things thinking we know how we're going to do only to realize we know nothing! As much as they pump it into your head, what you learn in college rarely prepares you for your actual job. Getting married, cohabiting with someone for the rest of your life, isn't as simple as it might seem. No advice, no book, no online course or video series can possibly prepare us for parenting. Nope, life is all about trial and error, on the job training and learning experiences. And no, it's never easy

So why do we get out of bed in the morning when life is so hard? Well because life is so awesome it's worth all the pain and aggravation! The pride of winning that game, graduating from school, that first paycheck or promotion, watching your child's first step, or attending your grand kid's wedding. They make it all worthwhile. Human beings are quick to learn from their mistakes and are very forgiving so tho we may stumble we tend to get another chance to make right. And another. Annnnnd another. In most cases we have parents, teachers, friends, mentors and other role models to emulate and to guide us along the right path. Even when we fail completely life always offers us opportunity to try, try again. And THAT is what makes life worth living

So, yeah, life ain't easy and sometimes it downright sucks. But don't get down as we're all in the same boat and we'll get through this together. Keep your chin up, stay even keeled, keep your eyes on the prize and any other bullshit cliche you can come up with. The rewards for all our stress, heartache, pain, and crying far out weight the risks. Ask questions, read books, pray, cry, see a therapist, make mistakes, make adjustments, make corrections, get it right. Rinse and repeat.

So, no, life isn't easy. If it was anyone could do it...

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